I know the answer. What's wrong is that there aren't any ABC Afterschool specials anymore. For Aussies who may not know, these were 1 hour specials that used to run in the afternoon & always had a "moral" or deep message about all the ways you could screw up you life (drugs, drunk driving, etc) & they were very dramatic. They also starred many famous celebs like Jodie Foster & Marion Ross.
However the titles were classic. Here are some examples:
*Me and my dad's new wife *Dad Lives in a Downtown Hotel
*Me and My hormones *Please Don't Hit Me Mom
*My Kid Went Punk *Two Teens and a Baby