Saturday, October 28, 2006

WTF of the week

Naomi Campbell has been arrested again for assaulting someone, actually, it was her drugs counselor.(Obviously her counselor was not doing a good job.) I don't advocate violence, but someone needs to slap Naomi.

It's Official!


Madonna has turned into a Benetton ad!

My new Job

I just watched a doco on Australia that was narrated by our Russell Crowe (yes i know he threw a phone at someone but at least he still speaks with an aussie accent). Anyway I found out some stuff i didn't know:

-90% of our land is unsuitable for farming (that is a lot of land!)
-Cane toads don't have a natural predator so they are multiplying like crazy
-there are over 500,000 different species living there
-the land distance from sydney to perth is the same from NY to Hawaii
-the giant fence that runs across the country (I forget what you call it, but in typical aussie fashion it is probably called "the great long fence that keeps out the feral dogs" fence) anyway there are people whose full time job is to just repair the fence, every day, just repair the fence
-in the middle of the country, where the largest cattle station is, it hasn't rained in 4 years. 4 Years!!! that is crazy. And they don't use horses to round up the herd anymore, they use motorbikes and planes(but on mcleods they use both)
That brings me to my new line of work. I really want to be a Jill-a-roo!!! how cool would that be? Then I can say this sentence below that the Jillaroo they interviewed on the doco said: "I reckon I was meant to be a Jill-a-roo, because I love being feral. I get to go to work in jeans and no makeup everyday"

I think i can be feral too. I can just see myself on the property, on the veranda, in my DrizzyBones jacket & Akubra drinking a vb from a stuppy holder watching the sun set on the back 40. But i would have to get one of those hats with the strings hanging down to keep the flies away. Oh and I want to live in Kabadula -lalalalala (Sp?) bc is just sounds cool. Then I can say things like "I am Jill-a-roo from Kabadala!"

Sunday, October 22, 2006

WTF of the week

The US Gov. has banned vegemite in the US. W-H-A-T??? I have to get out of this communist country. People here are losing their minds. They don't ban the sale of handguns, but ohhhhh, that jar of vegemite is soooo dangerous.

Signs your marriage is in trouble


"Our" Keith Urban entered rehab only 4 months since marrying "our" Nicole. Hmmm, interesting. I hate to say it but perhaps the ice princess caused Keith to need some "white powdered" snow.

D-U-H

THE Pentagon has admitted defeat in its strategy of securing Baghdad,
deepening the sense that the US is trapped in an unwinnable war and further damaging Republican chances in congressional elections next month.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I guess the joke is true!

Question: Why did Mickey break up with Minnie?
Answer: Bc she was f&^*ing Goofy!

Some Disney characters caught in an orgy video! Some employees at Disney Paris were caught simulating sex while dressed as Disney characters. "The behavior shown on the video is unacceptable and inexcusable," Disney said in a statement. The tape shows Minnie Mouse having sex wtih Goofy & a giant snowman. Mickey also simulates sex with the snowman & Goofy does the same with Chip or Dale, (I guess it really doesn't matter which one)The tape is described on the internet as the "mouse orgy."
Viva La France!

Sad Simon Sunday


Ok my boyfriend Simon Baker was on a talk show on Sunday promoting his new show & he spoke the whole time with an American accent. S-I-G-H. Why do they torture me so? He just moved his family back to the states bc of the show, & now I just found out it was cancelled! That sucks but maybe God was punishing him for sounding like a Yankee.

Madonna Fabulous


Madonna is adopting an African baby, bc Africa is hot right now (no pun intended) which reminds me of when Edina adopted a Romanian baby on Ab Fab bc it was the thing to do. Ever notice how Madonna has a baby with someone from whatever country she is into at the moment? She went thru her Spanish phase & had Lourdes with Carlos, went thru her British phase & had Rocco with Guy, & now she is into Africa & gets a baby from there. I guess the baby will have more opportunities with Madonna, but he won't be able to watch tv or eat sugar, so really I don't know which is the lesser of two evils.
(Madge better start eating sugar again, she is starting to look like Patsy!)

Monday, October 09, 2006

Run, Brush, Floss


How busy is your life that you have to go jogging & brush your teeth at the same time? Seriously I am all for dental hygiene but what is Matthew McConaughey thinking?

Stupid girls

Sienna Miller Says Monogamy Is 'Overrated'"I don't know, monogamy is a weird thing for me. It's an overrated virtue, because, let's face it, we're f­$%#ing animals." Actually no, some of us have self respect and class thank you very much. (I think you had to say this to justify to yourself that your loser boyfriend keeps cheating on you & you keep taking him back)

First the Berlin Wall comes down.......

Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie have finally made up after fighting for the past 18 months. How did they celebrate this joyous reunion? By going out to eat at a place that was crawling with paparrazzi, then having a slumber party at Paris's. Please remind me that if my best friend shows a sex tape of me (which by the way, if you are famous DON'T let anyway tape you EVER, how many times does it have to happen before you learn?)anyway remind me when we make up to do it at a restaurant that is filled with reporters.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

BrangelinaBecks


Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt have hired David Beckham for private coaching lessons for their son Maddox.
Ok, what is the conversation btwn Brad, Angie and Beckham like? "You are so much better looking then me! No, you are. No, you are!"

Monday, October 02, 2006

Sports News of the week


Go Eagles! Congrats to the Eagles who won the Grand Final this past weekend in a very exciting game (at least the last 20 minutes were exciting) But more importantly, look at how cute this boy Ben is! MEOW.
I would r-o-o-t for him.....

Not to depress the single people out there.....


BUT, remember the group Hanson? The brothers that were like 10 years old and sang MMM Bop? Well the last of the brothers got married over the weekend. That is right ladies, not only does that mean they are off the market, but they are all married!

W-H-Y ?????


Someone please tell me why this girl is a fashion icon. WTF is this outfit?

Wake Me Up before I go go....to jail

"George Michael was warned by police for carrying cannabis when found passed out in his car. It was the 2nd time in the past 8 months that he was found slumped over the wheel." Ok, once again, you are famous, you have a lot of money & probably a big house. Why would you be sitting in your car getting stoned? I am guessing you have a mansion that you can be doing whatever you wanted in & if you had to go out, GET A DRIVER! What is wrong with people?

Very cool...

The Foo Fighters will meet & share a beer with mine collapse survivors Brant Webb & Todd Russell this week. Webb & Russell were trapped in a collapsed mine in Tasmania for two weeks. They were given iPods to listen to while they were trapped in the mine & they requested Foo Fighter music. When the Foo Fighter's heard about this they sent a message to the miners saying they would meet them once they were free. Now they will meet them at their concert in Sydney on Wednesday. Good on ya!